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Saturday, April 11, 2009
2 comments
written at ♥
12:58 AM;
12:58 AM;
lmao
Monday, January 5, 2009
on a side note. im glad to be out of gainesville. like for real... i cant believe u let me down. if u saw my face ud know the disappointment i feel right now. like dude. i never ever thought u'd do that out of all people. like damn. idk. i guess its for caring too much, that i let it get to me. when i found out about the other bro and what he did i was like omg and had a headache for like 2 days and whenever i thought about it. but now im like damn wtf is everyone thinking up there. idont even know.
heres another reason to be thankful for J. bc i live for him more or less, ive been able to not get into a meaningless relationship again, which means no new "kidney infection" like my bro jokes, and no more putting my goals on hold.
0 comments
written at ♥
11:18 PM;
11:18 PM;
reflection
Friday, January 2, 2009
things i loved and happy about:
1. Jayden growing and developing so much. He's talking and Walking and Running, and dancing and singing and I've been so blessed, hes so sweet, and so smart, and so loving! idk. I'm glad hes the way he is, he makes everything no matter how tough or how much im not feeling this situation, he makes everything even a little better!
2. Realizing like the dumbass I am, that the family I have always wanted was right in front of me and that I took them for granted! This year its all about us and being there for each other and just me trying hard to be a great daughter, sister and mother!
3. working with 3 yr olds! They are a lot of fun. and I truly enjoy seeing them learn and think its so cool!
4. web calls! as lame as it is, its so cool to be able to actually talk to my family. So far we've done it with Jackie, Nestor and his fam, my grandparents (dad), and Mongo (although it was 1-way)
5. Medellin Restaurant... we're going to be positive and our dreams are coming together to make the BEST Colombian Fusion Cusine!
6. My friends that I still keep in touch with (no particular order). Gillian (going to isreal soon, as if doing her Masters wasnt fantastic enough, now shes going to try to get her PhD), Nati (finally finding someone who treats her right and doing big things in school!), Tanuska (although things have been hard, shes not given up and kept the faith! things must go up for them!!! and she moved down to miami and I FINALLY was able to visit) Mike (doing big things being a daddy! It was Marley's birth and his first everythings! Although he told me hes going through Drama. Thats what Gville is all about. its like highschool bc everyone knows each other. GET OUT of that city!) David (still in school, going strong and working, and im glad i get to see him every little chance we get. he's like my little reminder of normalcy) Allison (so she ended up not coming down to MIA, but shes starting school in Daytona!!) Papa Frita! (though in Otown i still have tons of love for her! i miss her greatly. shes one of those friends taht can tell whats the deal and instead of like inquiring, shes more like f-it, lets party and makes me smile, lol) Em and Dora (totally miss these girls, weve gotten apart a lot! sucks, but we gotta do something bout that in 09. no matter what though, they my ride or die!) Lots of aquaintances graduated, are doing the grown thing moving around the US (secretly im jealous, i wont lie. i'd love to be anywhere near done so my mama can be proud! and hell, so i can be proud too)
7. Excuse my french. but being done with the bullshit!!! theres nothing better, than knowing! i'm free and although it may be hard, im going to do me and live my life with my son how i want it =} i dont care if im alone forever but ill take that over ur games anytime mr. sperm donor, lol.
and for the best
8. My momma dukes... strongest woman ever! best mother ever! great friend! can read me almost best. but by far the most wonderful grandmother!!! I love u mami! ni tengo palabras para describirte y nuestra relacion. we fight and argue like no other, but i dont think i could love u more!!!! y lo siento por las mil veces que te trato mal. no lo mereces!
9. My pa. a kid at heart. a loving father (i dont get too many i loves u from him, but he shows it with our inside jokes, lol)Makes the best lunches for me and J! and has a wonderful grandpa/grandson relationship which is awesome to look at and something which they totally only understand b/w them, lol. I know the restaurant will go well. bc just like hes a great man. hhes an even greater and harder worker!!!
10. BA!!!!!!!!!!!! ILOVE U LIKE CRAZY bro! without u, id probably be God knows where! my rock, u keep me up ur just great i cnat even explain. and if its not enough with u loving me tons and being a super brother. ur uncle/godfather skills are freaking out of this world. I get jealous when J is crying or when he wakes up, going BA! lol. He loves u so much! and u him. its insane! i love u tons, even when u teach him PING!!! with the christmas tree lol.
ok, so now on to things that are going to get better... hopefully!
1. guys... they are so lame. i dont have time for lame excuses. Un mentiroso cae mas rapido que un cojo, and its tru. dont waste ur time on lies. i decided, i need someone collected and preferably latino =} and having their life somewhat straight, with goals and aspirations! preferably with a tan and one that likes to wear cologne and dress nice, lol.
2. work... pay sucks. i gotta do something about that. im taking a course so hopefully i can get a better raise... but we'll see whats up! if not, i gotta leave!
3. school... IT NEEDS TO BECOME A PRIORITY! even if i gotta beg or go up and reak havic on people i need to get this on point!!!!! i dont even care anymore what major, what school or nothing. somethings gotta give!
4. me! in general i need to start loving and dealing with what i got and do something about what i dont like. forget others. its about me and my loved ones.
5. stop torturing myself w/ curiosity. be done w/ it!!! lol. yeah like that'll happen my chismosa self! w/e ill stop caring or wasting my time, lol.
anyways... its so past my bed time!!! lol.
0 comments
written at ♥
12:42 AM;
12:42 AM;
its the little moments that
Sunday, December 28, 2008
0 comments
written at ♥
10:05 PM;
10:05 PM;
feliz navidad #2
Thursday, December 25, 2008
j also ate an empanada for the 1st time ever! and of course we made arts and crafts lol we didnt bake for xmas but thats bc we had a cookie decoarating evening on a previous night lol. today we had tamales for breakfast. played with presents hung out with eachother. napped!! and watched wall.e
anyways happy holidays
0 comments
written at ♥
11:03 PM;
11:03 PM;
For the good stuff.... CHRISTMAS!!!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
its that time of the yr and J is also 18 months old!!! hes ancient. but he's great. hes so smart and charming. looks like me, lol. and hes such a personality. i love him!!! he really likes christmas, the decorations, the tree, the songs, the novena, and the lights. its spectacular.
he's grown so much. he sings, he dances, he claps, hes tryting to talk a mile a minute, but we dont understand chinese we tell him, lol.
his favorite songs right now:
Most things canti juegos... he got over his pocoyo stage
I like to Move it Move it
"where is santa, where is santa
here i am, here i am
marry merry christmas, merry merry christmas
ho ho ho, ho ho ho" (and in spanish)
"ven, ven, ven,
ven a nuestras almas jesus ven, ven, ven, ven,
ven a nuestras almas
jesus ven ven a nuestras almas
no tardes tanto, no tardes tanto
jesus ven ven, ven ven"
new words:
"mana" snowman
"ahol" arbol
"I-ah" tia
"yayis" his name for grandma
"gon gon" dragon
favorite movie: madagascar!!!
he hasnt watched it yet, but J loves Wall.E anywhere he sees it that what he calls out to. Shhh dont tell him, el nino jesus is bringing it for him (and for David, lol)
he still LOVES animals, but he is starting to like transportation. such as airplane, trucks, helicopter, firetrucks, and motorcycles.
his favorite person that he calls out for (aside from me, lol) is BA! David is still the greatest with him! i dont know what Id do without my brother. i think all single mothers, aside from having a great family should have a great Big brother and godfather to their children. David is like my savior at time... i guess tahts why hes my best friend. corny i know but i loves him i think more than j loves him, but thats debateable.
Anyways, happy holidays and a happy and prosperous new year. My wish is for Medellin restaurant to finally open, and open BIG! and for all of us to get our dreams fullfilled. whats my dream.... FOr J and I to succeed the utmost we can. Together, whether it be just the 2 of us for ever, or if im destined to meet someone new... i think i want a nice latin man =}
0 comments
written at ♥
3:24 PM;
3:24 PM;
i should've known. VENTING!
im kinda happy the way things turned out. i know how things are now. at least i know for sure that its OVER! but im not sad. more like irritated, bc i was hesitant to try this again, and when i finally fell for it, its over. it feels like it was just a game. w/e thats what i get for having dated someone so young while i myself was young too.
I would say im not angry. well, that would be a lie. im angry that i was lied to, for no reason. i wouldve been ok with having been told the truth. but no. i think its a cowardly move. people dont just pop up from nowhere as he said in the aftermath. the lack of acceptance for his mistakes is what has turned this into a "shitty"situation.
But i can honestly say i am happy that i can move on and say that i tried. what i was told were problems b4 i tried to fix. i tried going above and beyond, i asked i wanted to know how i could become a better wife. but w/e. i tried. i didnt give up. when j grows up, he wont be able to say its my fault.
Hopefully when J grows up i'll find a great daddy for him, but not only that... he'll be a great husband for me. I'm also a little relieved. bc i HATE the name maria for a daughter, being hispanic its EVERYWHERE.
w/e lifes a bitch and i do believe in Karma. so shit happens. wait for ur turn buddy.
edited after the initial angryness, lol.
Labels: venting
0 comments
written at ♥
3:07 PM;
3:07 PM;
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